Stacking Pennies . . .

Throughout my life, my sense of where I fit in financially has teeter tottered.

The early years
When I was young, we lived in a trailer court. Am I embarrassed of this? It depends. Some people really do look down on it, so I don't advertise that fact until I know a bit about a person's perspectives. As I get older, it seems to matter less.

I remember two things about the trailer court. First, I remember playing in our yard. We lived on a dead end street at the end of the lot, and my Dad was allowed to use whatever land he wanted to mow. So we had a huge yard with a homemade swing set, a sandbox, and a nice hill for our slip and slide. I remember the day my dad mowed his name in huge letters in the yard. We were delighted.

The other thing I remember is when a naked man was running through the trailer park. I don't specifically remember seeing him, I don't remember why he was running, why he was naked. But I do remember my dad taking him inside our trailer, giving him a shirt and some pants, and helping him on his way. He worked at a golf course and gave my dad free rounds after that.

When I was in third grade, we moved to the house my parents live in now. It is a big house, probably bigger than we needed, in a new development. They did a lot of the work themselves (my dad and his friends). For the rest of grade school and jr. high, I never felt that I lived in a somewhere "less" than my friends.

High school
I transfered to a private high school in ninth grade, and the insecurities were back. We had enough money, but definitely less than my classmates. I didn't have a nice car. Our house was less impressive than many others. Several of my classmates had pools (a big luxury in a northern midwest state!), everyone shopped at Abercrombie, and people had a lot of nice stuff.

Still, my parents didn't seem to deprive us. I almost wish they did, for their sake. We did have crappy cars, but were allowed to buy brand name clothes. My parents paid for a trip to Germany, not to mention the tuition for school (though there was a discount because my dad did some electrical work for them). Even though we had less than others, we still had enough.

The scary years
During this time, my dad borrowed a healthy sum of money to start his own electrical business. I still am not clear on the details, but it didn't work out as well as planned. There were some issues with him not getting paid for a large job, some issues with the person who lent him the money, and... well, starting a small business is hard. I'm not sure it was planned out very well. It was hard times, but I wasn't aware of it until a little later on. It ended with my parents working with someone to file a Chapter 13 bankruptcy. They got to keep their possessions, but had to pay a lot of money back to the creditors. I think the payments were something like 3000 a month for 5 or 7 years. My dad became responsible for those payments, and my mom paid the rest of the bills.

Surprisingly, I don't remember there being major cutbacks in my life. We continued to drive falling apart cars, but everything else seemed to go stay the same. Still, it was a scary time for me. Every so often, my dad would fall behind on the payments, and someone would come to our house with a certified letter. I must have opened one once, because I somehow knew they said something like "pay now, or we will be forced to reconsider this repayment plan." More than once, I cried about this, even once I was in college and not relying on them. I was scared for their sake and couldn't understand how they could have let this happen.

But they made it through, making their last payment sometime last year. It actually helped me out a lot, surprisingly. Because they were paying so much money towards the debt, I was able to qualify for actual GRANTS for my college for several years. Free money that I never had to pay back!! So, if you can't help your kids pay for college, consider going bankrupt right as they are entering. (No seriously, don't.)

The split
During college, you start to separate from your parents both emotionally and financially. They generously helped me get a decent car (about 3k from them and 1k from me), paid my car insurance and repairs, health insurance and helped out with some minor expenses on occasion. After living on my own for several years, they let me stay at home rent from for a few semesters so I could save money. But for everything else, I was on my own.

After graduation, the difference was even more marked. I'm completely financially independent from them. Now, I feel very "rich", even though I only have about 8k net worth. The feeling comes from knowing I'm doing the right things with my money and knowing my future looks bright. To me, feeling poor means being scared about money. I don't think I'll ever feel "poor" again.

As for my parents, they are doing pretty well these days, I think. I worry about their retirement. The bankruptcy involved an IRA rollover (I know this only because it affected my financial aid), and I know my dad has no retirement accounts as of today. He does have a pension plan through his union, but he also hasn't worked for the union regularly for about 10 years! I asked him about it, cautiously, and he said his house was his retirement. I commented I wasn't sure about that plan, but let the subject drop. I would assume my mom is still contributing to some sort of retirement plan, but I'm not sure of it. I hope to bring it up with them one of these days, but it is a hard step to take.

I don't think I was ever poor in the true sense of the word, but I don't feel that I was exceptionally privileged either.

Throughout my life, my sense of where I fit in financially has teeter tottered.

The early years
When I was young, we lived in a trailer court. Am I embarrassed of this? It depends. Some people really do look down on it, so I don't advertise that fact until I know a bit about a person's perspectives. As I get older, it seems to matter less.

I remember two things about the trailer court. First, I remember playing in our yard. We lived on a dead end street at the end of the lot, and my Dad was allowed to use whatever land he wanted to mow. So we had a huge yard with a homemade swing set, a sandbox, and a nice hill for our slip and slide. I remember the day my dad mowed his name in huge letters in the yard. We were delighted.

The other thing I remember is when a naked man was running through the trailer park. I don't specifically remember seeing him, I don't remember why he was running, why he was naked. But I do remember my dad taking him inside our trailer, giving him a shirt and some pants, and helping him on his way. He worked at a golf course and gave my dad free rounds after that.

When I was in third grade, we moved to the house my parents live in now. It is a big house, probably bigger than we needed, in a new development. They did a lot of the work themselves (my dad and his friends). For the rest of grade school and jr. high, I never felt that I lived in a somewhere "less" than my friends.

High school
I transfered to a private high school in ninth grade, and the insecurities were back. We had enough money, but definitely less than my classmates. I didn't have a nice car. Our house was less impressive than many others. Several of my classmates had pools (a big luxury in a northern midwest state!), everyone shopped at Abercrombie, and people had a lot of nice stuff.

Still, my parents didn't seem to deprive us. I almost wish they did, for their sake. We did have crappy cars, but were allowed to buy brand name clothes. My parents paid for a trip to Germany, not to mention the tuition for school (though there was a discount because my dad did some electrical work for them). Even though we had less than others, we still had enough.

The scary years
During this time, my dad borrowed a healthy sum of money to start his own electrical business. I still am not clear on the details, but it didn't work out as well as planned. There were some issues with him not getting paid for a large job, some issues with the person who lent him the money, and... well, starting a small business is hard. I'm not sure it was planned out very well. It was hard times, but I wasn't aware of it until a little later on. It ended with my parents working with someone to file a Chapter 13 bankruptcy. They got to keep their possessions, but had to pay a lot of money back to the creditors. I think the payments were something like 3000 a month for 5 or 7 years. My dad became responsible for those payments, and my mom paid the rest of the bills.

Surprisingly, I don't remember there being major cutbacks in my life. We continued to drive falling apart cars, but everything else seemed to go stay the same. Still, it was a scary time for me. Every so often, my dad would fall behind on the payments, and someone would come to our house with a certified letter. I must have opened one once, because I somehow knew they said something like "pay now, or we will be forced to reconsider this repayment plan." More than once, I cried about this, even once I was in college and not relying on them. I was scared for their sake and couldn't understand how they could have let this happen.

But they made it through, making their last payment sometime last year. It actually helped me out a lot, surprisingly. Because they were paying so much money towards the debt, I was able to qualify for actual GRANTS for my college for several years. Free money that I never had to pay back!! So, if you can't help your kids pay for college, consider going bankrupt right as they are entering. (No seriously, don't.)

The split
During college, you start to separate from your parents both emotionally and financially. They generously helped me get a decent car (about 3k from them and 1k from me), paid my car insurance and repairs, health insurance and helped out with some minor expenses on occasion. After living on my own for several years, they let me stay at home rent from for a few semesters so I could save money. But for everything else, I was on my own.

After graduation, the difference was even more marked. I'm completely financially independent from them. Now, I feel very "rich", even though I only have about 8k net worth. The feeling comes from knowing I'm doing the right things with my money and knowing my future looks bright. To me, feeling poor means being scared about money. I don't think I'll ever feel "poor" again.

As for my parents, they are doing pretty well these days, I think. I worry about their retirement. The bankruptcy involved an IRA rollover (I know this only because it affected my financial aid), and I know my dad has no retirement accounts as of today. He does have a pension plan through his union, but he also hasn't worked for the union regularly for about 10 years! I asked him about it, cautiously, and he said his house was his retirement. I commented I wasn't sure about that plan, but let the subject drop. I would assume my mom is still contributing to some sort of retirement plan, but I'm not sure of it. I hope to bring it up with them one of these days, but it is a hard step to take.

I don't think I was ever poor in the true sense of the word, but I don't feel that I was exceptionally privileged either.

Throughout my life, my sense of where I fit in financially has teeter tottered.

The early years
When I was young, we lived in a trailer court. Am I embarrassed of this? It depends. Some people really do look down on it, so I don't advertise that fact until I know a bit about a person's perspectives. As I get older, it seems to matter less.

I remember two things about the trailer court. First, I remember playing in our yard. We lived on a dead end street at the end of the lot, and my Dad was allowed to use whatever land he wanted to mow. So we had a huge yard with a homemade swing set, a sandbox, and a nice hill for our slip and slide. I remember the day my dad mowed his name in huge letters in the yard. We were delighted.

The other thing I remember is when a naked man was running through the trailer park. I don't specifically remember seeing him, I don't remember why he was running, why he was naked. But I do remember my dad taking him inside our trailer, giving him a shirt and some pants, and helping him on his way. He worked at a golf course and gave my dad free rounds after that.

When I was in third grade, we moved to the house my parents live in now. It is a big house, probably bigger than we needed, in a new development. They did a lot of the work themselves (my dad and his friends). For the rest of grade school and jr. high, I never felt that I lived in a somewhere "less" than my friends.

High school
I transfered to a private high school in ninth grade, and the insecurities were back. We had enough money, but definitely less than my classmates. I didn't have a nice car. Our house was less impressive than many others. Several of my classmates had pools (a big luxury in a northern midwest state!), everyone shopped at Abercrombie, and people had a lot of nice stuff.

Still, my parents didn't seem to deprive us. I almost wish they did, for their sake. We did have crappy cars, but were allowed to buy brand name clothes. My parents paid for a trip to Germany, not to mention the tuition for school (though there was a discount because my dad did some electrical work for them). Even though we had less than others, we still had enough.

The scary years
During this time, my dad borrowed a healthy sum of money to start his own electrical business. I still am not clear on the details, but it didn't work out as well as planned. There were some issues with him not getting paid for a large job, some issues with the person who lent him the money, and... well, starting a small business is hard. I'm not sure it was planned out very well. It was hard times, but I wasn't aware of it until a little later on. It ended with my parents working with someone to file a Chapter 13 bankruptcy. They got to keep their possessions, but had to pay a lot of money back to the creditors. I think the payments were something like 3000 a month for 5 or 7 years. My dad became responsible for those payments, and my mom paid the rest of the bills.

Surprisingly, I don't remember there being major cutbacks in my life. We continued to drive falling apart cars, but everything else seemed to go stay the same. Still, it was a scary time for me. Every so often, my dad would fall behind on the payments, and someone would come to our house with a certified letter. I must have opened one once, because I somehow knew they said something like "pay now, or we will be forced to reconsider this repayment plan." More than once, I cried about this, even once I was in college and not relying on them. I was scared for their sake and couldn't understand how they could have let this happen.

But they made it through, making their last payment sometime last year. It actually helped me out a lot, surprisingly. Because they were paying so much money towards the debt, I was able to qualify for actual GRANTS for my college for several years. Free money that I never had to pay back!! So, if you can't help your kids pay for college, consider going bankrupt right as they are entering. (No seriously, don't.)

The split
During college, you start to separate from your parents both emotionally and financially. They generously helped me get a decent car (about 3k from them and 1k from me), paid my car insurance and repairs, health insurance and helped out with some minor expenses on occasion. After living on my own for several years, they let me stay at home rent from for a few semesters so I could save money. But for everything else, I was on my own.

After graduation, the difference was even more marked. I'm completely financially independent from them. Now, I feel very "rich", even though I only have about 8k net worth. The feeling comes from knowing I'm doing the right things with my money and knowing my future looks bright. To me, feeling poor means being scared about money. I don't think I'll ever feel "poor" again.

As for my parents, they are doing pretty well these days, I think. I worry about their retirement. The bankruptcy involved an IRA rollover (I know this only because it affected my financial aid), and I know my dad has no retirement accounts as of today. He does have a pension plan through his union, but he also hasn't worked for the union regularly for about 10 years! I asked him about it, cautiously, and he said his house was his retirement. I commented I wasn't sure about that plan, but let the subject drop. I would assume my mom is still contributing to some sort of retirement plan, but I'm not sure of it. I hope to bring it up with them one of these days, but it is a hard step to take.

I don't think I was ever poor in the true sense of the word, but I don't feel that I was exceptionally privileged either.

Throughout my life, my sense of where I fit in financially has teeter tottered.

The early years
When I was young, we lived in a trailer court. Am I embarrassed of this? It depends. Some people really do look down on it, so I don't advertise that fact until I know a bit about a person's perspectives. As I get older, it seems to matter less.

I remember two things about the trailer court. First, I remember playing in our yard. We lived on a dead end street at the end of the lot, and my Dad was allowed to use whatever land he wanted to mow. So we had a huge yard with a homemade swing set, a sandbox, and a nice hill for our slip and slide. I remember the day my dad mowed his name in huge letters in the yard. We were delighted.

The other thing I remember is when a naked man was running through the trailer park. I don't specifically remember seeing him, I don't remember why he was running, why he was naked. But I do remember my dad taking him inside our trailer, giving him a shirt and some pants, and helping him on his way. He worked at a golf course and gave my dad free rounds after that.

When I was in third grade, we moved to the house my parents live in now. It is a big house, probably bigger than we needed, in a new development. They did a lot of the work themselves (my dad and his friends). For the rest of grade school and jr. high, I never felt that I lived in a somewhere "less" than my friends.

High school
I transfered to a private high school in ninth grade, and the insecurities were back. We had enough money, but definitely less than my classmates. I didn't have a nice car. Our house was less impressive than many others. Several of my classmates had pools (a big luxury in a northern midwest state!), everyone shopped at Abercrombie, and people had a lot of nice stuff.

Still, my parents didn't seem to deprive us. I almost wish they did, for their sake. We did have crappy cars, but were allowed to buy brand name clothes. My parents paid for a trip to Germany, not to mention the tuition for school (though there was a discount because my dad did some electrical work for them). Even though we had less than others, we still had enough.

The scary years
During this time, my dad borrowed a healthy sum of money to start his own electrical business. I still am not clear on the details, but it didn't work out as well as planned. There were some issues with him not getting paid for a large job, some issues with the person who lent him the money, and... well, starting a small business is hard. I'm not sure it was planned out very well. It was hard times, but I wasn't aware of it until a little later on. It ended with my parents working with someone to file a Chapter 13 bankruptcy. They got to keep their possessions, but had to pay a lot of money back to the creditors. I think the payments were something like 3000 a month for 5 or 7 years. My dad became responsible for those payments, and my mom paid the rest of the bills.

Surprisingly, I don't remember there being major cutbacks in my life. We continued to drive falling apart cars, but everything else seemed to go stay the same. Still, it was a scary time for me. Every so often, my dad would fall behind on the payments, and someone would come to our house with a certified letter. I must have opened one once, because I somehow knew they said something like "pay now, or we will be forced to reconsider this repayment plan." More than once, I cried about this, even once I was in college and not relying on them. I was scared for their sake and couldn't understand how they could have let this happen.

But they made it through, making their last payment sometime last year. It actually helped me out a lot, surprisingly. Because they were paying so much money towards the debt, I was able to qualify for actual GRANTS for my college for several years. Free money that I never had to pay back!! So, if you can't help your kids pay for college, consider going bankrupt right as they are entering. (No seriously, don't.)

The split
During college, you start to separate from your parents both emotionally and financially. They generously helped me get a decent car (about 3k from them and 1k from me), paid my car insurance and repairs, health insurance and helped out with some minor expenses on occasion. After living on my own for several years, they let me stay at home rent from for a few semesters so I could save money. But for everything else, I was on my own.

After graduation, the difference was even more marked. I'm completely financially independent from them. Now, I feel very "rich", even though I only have about 8k net worth. The feeling comes from knowing I'm doing the right things with my money and knowing my future looks bright. To me, feeling poor means being scared about money. I don't think I'll ever feel "poor" again.

As for my parents, they are doing pretty well these days, I think. I worry about their retirement. The bankruptcy involved an IRA rollover (I know this only because it affected my financial aid), and I know my dad has no retirement accounts as of today. He does have a pension plan through his union, but he also hasn't worked for the union regularly for about 10 years! I asked him about it, cautiously, and he said his house was his retirement. I commented I wasn't sure about that plan, but let the subject drop. I would assume my mom is still contributing to some sort of retirement plan, but I'm not sure of it. I hope to bring it up with them one of these days, but it is a hard step to take.

I don't think I was ever poor in the true sense of the word, but I don't feel that I was exceptionally privileged either.